mm i know it sounds weird.
Had too much time at home. Just came back from an outfield support. Tired!

Suddenly i thought of you. I always think that i have already moved on. But seems like i am still lingering to ___.
I got no idea why i still miss ___ when i shouldn't.

Today i finally took the courage to open up those things ___ have return to me. Diary entries that we wrote together, photos we took together etc.
Flipping every page of the diary bring back memories of how we spend time together.
See those small little present we made for each other touched my heart.
Then i realise then necklace and the ring was in the bag.
Tears ran down my cheek.
Read every line that we have written on the diary, all the promises we had etc.
The next moment i knew i was crying like a loser(what i meant was the feeling is as if i have lost everything)
Then images of time we just broke up, when a somebody try to stir/flame our relationship and make it sour. Till now i still don't know who did that but it doesn't matter to me.
Till now i still blame myself for what had happened.
All the 'what if' start coming in.....

You can hate me for missing you.
You all can dislike me for not moving on.
You all can outcast me.
You all can say anything you want about me.

Everyone have the liberty to think/feel what they want. So i don't wish anybody to get affected by what i write.

I am still carrying hope where everyone tell me not to. But if putting down is so easy i wouldn't have tried ways to hurt myself(last time).
I thanks everyone that standing by me because i know i am not alone.
I also thanks everyone that is stepping me down because i will grow stronger.

Erm people that read this entry, please don't worry about me. I am fine!
Do me a favour, don't ask too!

Musical Ended.
Lots of emotion running through.
And yea won't be able to see you again i guess.
but it doesn't matter anymore.

Everybody already start to miss musical and suffering from POST MUSICAL Syndrome.
Well of course i am one of those that suffered too.LOL
I will definitely miss everyone and would like to thanks everyone giving me the chance to work with you all.
Thanks Rene for inviting me back for this musical
Thanks Terrence to let me be in your item
Thanks Ms Ong to give me the opportunity to dance with all other alumnis
Thanks Dorinda for allowing me to perform with FB
Thanks Alex to let me into your item!

In this musical i've get to know so many friends!People from different clubs!AWESOME!
Being in different clubs, didn't stop us from making everything possible, because DANCE is the UNIVERSAL language between all of us.
As i am typing this entry, i am already missing every single moments i have had in this musical; scolding, laughter, tears, jokes ETC ETC ETC ETC!
So many things to write but i don't wish to bore you all with words....
Just drop by my facebook to take a look at the photos/video we all have taken.
I believe pictures and video are more then enough to express my blog entry.

HOPE TO MEET UP WITH ALL OF YOU ALL SOON.
AND FARHAN: Yes we shall be the committee and plan what is going to happen at the end of this year!

Finally no more late night rehearsal...but up next is Floor The Love 2010.
Shall work hard! =D

Constant reminder that Musical is nearer...
5 days away from the show...
Excited? definitely!
Because i won't know when i will be back to dance with the dancer in this musical =(
Will definitely miss them.
Meaning chances of seeing you will decrease or might not even see you again...

Yesterday was our first Full Dress Rehearsal. Mm i don't really know how i look in it but hope its presentable.
Yesterday was also the first time i dance without my specs. Looked very lost in backstage but i think it didnt really cause me any problem dancing on stage~!
LUCKY!haha...

After Musical, comes Floor The Love 2010. Not prepared, shit!
Hope my partner and I can swag it =D. yea new term SWAG! (watch ABDC and you know what is it)
After FTL, hopefully can join Singapore Dance Delight!!!! I so want to join so many competition!!!

Yesterday got the news that BASIC 5 won Gatsby Dance Competition. So happy for them, another Old School Funk winning a competition again and this time they are representing SG to Japan and compete.... Congrats, must make SG PROUD!

mm enough of dance....
HAHA the smell of ORD is drawing near. Less than 100 working days left. Going to leave the RUBBISH GREEN ORGANISATION. Must celebrate man!!!
ORD loh!!!!

Dance has been a emotional ride for me. BOTH Happy & Sad.

Filled my life with so many impossible into possible.
Filled my emptiness to overwhelming.
Expanded my social circle so much.
Found my love( a passion that is not 三分钟热度 )
Found a special one in my life( being together with you is the best thing i could ever asked for even we parted but i never regret the time we had. Being able to dance with you is also the best moments i had in my 3 years of dancing. I don't think i have another chance but thank you )

NYP Broadway Musical is just 13 days away. I believe all of us will carry off the pressure and drive it into a positive attitude in making this production a good one.

This time coming back to NYP, so much things have happen. I would like to apologise to those people i have offended. Apologise to the choreographer for making comments. And of course this journey back didn't only bring such 'bad' experience for me. I also like to thanks RENE for inviting and making me part of this Production. I never thought that i could dance with so many alumni that i could ever think of like Terrence, Raizan, Brian(yes you again), etc + dancer from my SA batch and all the Foreign Bodies dancer. I believe i have learn a lot from all of you. Being able to get to know so many dancer in this whole musical definitely open up my mind to all different genre of dance.

But not forgetting my SA. Seen so many of my juniors improve and grow. Just like how i was when i was a nobody to someone that has given the opportunity to shine. Getting to know my juniors brings lots of joys. Before coming back to SA, i was kind of worried that the seniors won't be able to live up to impart they skills to the juniors. But credit to the seniors, i have seen you all grow to a point its beyond my expectation. But never stop improving!! Keep going as there is no destination in dance.

13 more days. I am definitely excited. The costumes are great & the dancers are DOPE! We will rock the stage on 5&6th FEB!
Lets do this together because:
| This is what we breathe, live, eat, sleep, love & believe! DANCE! |

haiz was so bored=(
facebook can't use because i don't know why so damn bloody lag that it couldn't load=(

Well i been thinking about you on my train ride back from camp.
i got no idea why. Well i wish i know.
Flash back moments...

Maybe i am missing you. I don't know already.
Cant really spell out my own emotion.
I get cranky recently i don't why.
Have i changed?
Army is finishing soon shouldn't i be tuning back to civilian mode and behave how i am suppose to?
i envy some people. able to share about their life/love/anything.

But i cant share. Because who can i share with plus keeping it a secret?
i've been holding on to that something for so damn long.
mm guess being cranky is due to keeping everything inside me so tightly.
i always advise my buddy.i am always giving advise
but why am i not even listening to my own advise?

People that are close to me has distance from me already. I lost a lot my bond after __________(fill in the sentence)
now i see how much part u played in my life.
took away so much of me.
I am hollow now.
I don't mind though, i never regret for loving you.

blah blah blah blah.....
don't know how to carry on already....

Listening to : Lady Sovereign - Random

i got no idea why some many of my friends asking me whether am i in love.
I mean i would like to be in love but i need a partner right?HAHA

Realise that is so hard to be in love again or start again due to the downfall of my past.
Even though i like a girl i don't think i have the confident like last time to ask.
I even have the mindset that i will get rejected already. So why bother right?
And partially i also have a feeling that the girl already had someone in mind/attached.
Seriously i dont why so much thoughts are running through my mind =(
mm should dance more to forget depressing moments.

Well whatever the case i am not in love.So ya no more questions...LOL

Alright i need to worry about my diarrhea more than anything now =| T_T

WEDDING DRESS LYRICS

Some say it’s not over ‘till it’s over
Guess this is really over now
There’s something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please don’t take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When I’m by myself I talk to you like you’re here
I’ve felt so restless every night
Maybe I’ve known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, don’t take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It’s going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

Finally i take the effort to look for the english lyrics for this song.
Wondering why i like the song so much?
because i felt the same as the content of this song!